Shame Is Not Who I Am: A Soft Approach To Healing What Hurts
Shame has a way of wrapping itself around our memories, our thoughts, and the quiet corners of our identity.
It speaks in whispers that sound like truths—I’m not good enough, I always mess things up, no one could really love me if they knew the real me.
If you’re carrying shame—whether it’s loud or quiet, fresh or deeply rooted—I want you to know something:
You are not alone, and you are not broken.
Here in Gentle Bloom Collective, we don’t force growth. We invite it, tenderly. And working through shame is no different. Healing takes time, and it begins with one brave, gentle step at a time.
Step 1: Name the Shame to Reclaim Your Power
The first step in softening shame’s grip is to recognize when it shows up. You don’t need to argue with it or push it away—just notice it.
You might say quietly to yourself:
- “This is shame talking.”
- “That’s The Critic’s voice, not mine.”
- “This feeling doesn’t define me.”
Naming shame turns it from an invisible shadow into something you can see and choose not to carry.
Step 2: Gently Speak the Truth
Shame thrives in silence—but healing grows through compassion. Once you recognize a shame-filled thought, offer yourself a small truth in return. These aren’t meant to erase the feeling, but to comfort the parts of you that have been hurt or hidden.
Here are a few gentle self-compassion statements to try:
“I did the best I could with what I knew then.”
“I am worthy, even when I feel unsure.”
“My healing doesn’t have to look perfect.”
“I am allowed to be soft, messy, and still deeply lovable.”
Repeat them as often as you need—write them on sticky notes, whisper them in the mirror, or keep them as journal headers.
Step 3: Write a Letter to the You That Was Hurt
This is one of the most tender practices. When you’re ready, write a letter to the younger version of you—the one who was misunderstood, dismissed, or made to feel too much or not enough.
You might begin with…
“I’m so sorry no one protected you.”
“You didn’t deserve that.”
“You are so loved now, just as you are.”
You don’t have to know what to say right away. Just begin. Let your heart speak to that younger version of you with the kindness you deserved all along.
A Final Thought: You Are Not Your Shame
Shame is learned. It was planted by others, by trauma, by survival patterns. But it does not define who you are.
You are tender. You are blooming. You are returning home to yourself—and that is a courageous act.
Take your time, love. Healing doesn’t demand perfection. It only asks for your presence, your softness, and your willingness to begin.
🌸 Disclaimer
Gentle Bloom Collective and all its content are intended for personal reflection and creative exploration only. I am not a licensed therapist, counselor, or medical professional.
Nothing shared should be considered professional mental health advice or a substitute for seeking qualified care.
Always listen to your inner wisdom and reach out to a licensed provider if you need support.
This space is simply a soft place to land—a garden for imagination, healing, and self-expression.
